Crazy?
by Confushi Sushi
Summary: Only 3 words came to Daniel's mind. Scarred. For. Life.


Title: Crazy?  
  
Author: Confushi Sushi  
  
Email: confushi_sushi@hotmail.com  
  
Category: Humor  
  
Spoilers: Can't think of any.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Season: 7  
  
Summary: Only 3 words came to Daniel's mind. Scarred. For. Life.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. No $. I'll give 'em back when I'm done, I swear.  
  
*  
  
"Ready to find the Gould?" Jack asked.  
  
"I'm ready to find the Gould." Sam replied.  
  
"Let's do it then."  
  
"Jack?" Daniel was confused. What the hell were they up to?  
  
"Be vewwy vewwy quiet, we'wr hunting Goulds." Wait a sec, was Jack wearing hunting gear? The ridiculously tall orange hat bobbled wildly as he took over-exaggerated tippy-toe steps. And Sam, well, she was running around on all fours like a dog. In fact, she was dressed like a dog.  
  
"Where's Teal'c?" At this point, Daniel wasn't sure he wanted to know.  
  
"Jaffa ballet." Sam responded offhandedly. Ballet?  
  
Ok, Daniel wanted some answers. This was definitely not right. Did he hit his head or something? He hoped that was the case, because if not then he didn't know what to do.  
  
A jaffa jumped out of the bushes nearby. Literally. Jumped out. And damned if he didn't have a tattoo of the RoadRunner on his forehead.  
  
"Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on?" Daniel shouted. They all looked at him like he was nuts, which may in fact be a fair assessment.  
  
"I got you now!" Jack then cried triumphantly, his P90 spraying corks at the RoadRunner jaffa. Every single one missed.  
  
"Meep meep!" The jaffa even did that little tongue thing, which Daniel found disturbing on more levels than he even knew existed. As the jaffa took of in a poof, yes a poof, Daniel contemplated whether he should just hang himself now.  
  
And then Teal'c came. And Bra'tak. And Ryac. All in bright pink tutu's complete with those shoes. Ok, there had to be something illegal about that. Only 3 words came to Daniel's mind.  
  
Scarred. For. Life.  
  
"We have completed our routine, Daniel Jackson. Would you care to observe?" Teal'c asked nervously. Hell, all three of them were giggling like little girls. Teal'c and Bra'tak and Ryac. Giggling. And he thought the clothes themselves had been bad.  
  
"Um, could you maybe, oh, not?" Daniel pleaded. As it was he was going to have a lot to work through. 3 jaffa doing ballet would just be the straw that broke the camel's back. And send him to the loony bin.  
  
Padded walls. Nice, empty rooms. Yeah, he could do that. Again.  
  
"We will take your refusal as permission to continue." Bra'tak informed him. They proceeded to hop, twirl, and do all things ballet-y. Daniel could only watch in horrified shock as Teal'c pirouetted and then lifted Ryac into the air, who proceeded to strike a pose.  
  
Ok, he was wrong. Scarred for life didn't even begin to cover the spectacle in front of him.  
  
And to finish it all of Bra'tak hopped gracefully across the clearing, waving his arms like a swan, his skullcap not fitting well with the rest of his ensemble.  
  
*  
  
Daniel opened his eyes to see a very fuzzy brown blob in front of him. As he became more aware of his surroundings he realized he was looking at the back of Teal'c's head. There was a faint glow from the TV highlighting the shape of his bald head, and the quiet murmurs from the set sounded very familiar.  
  
Yup, that was definitely just the RoadRunner. Daniel couldn't suppress the groan that this knowledge brought.  
  
Teal'c turned to regard the archaeologist. "Daniel Jackson, I apologize if I am responsible for awakening you."  
  
"Uh, no problem Teal'c. What are you doing?" Daniel asked, trying to avoid the disgusting taste of morning mouth.  
  
"I am viewing the Saturday morning cartoon programming."  
  
Yup, shouldn't have introduced Teal'c to that little piece of American culture. Well, that explained part of his dream, but what the hell did ballet have to do with anything?  
  
Explained or not, it was still pretty damned disturbing to think about. Even more disturbing were it real.  
  
"Teal'c, promise me something."  
  
"What do you wish me to promise, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c raised his eyebrow curiously.  
  
"Please, no matter what happens, don't ever take up ballet."  
  
To say that Teal'c was puzzled would have been a gross understatement.  
  
END 


End file.
